THE CHILD BROUGHT OUT THE GOD IN ME
Mothers' experiences of upbringing a Child and thereby bringing out the Child Within
My journey as a mother….
As a mother of a 5 year old boy, always
striving to be the “perfect mother”, though I know perfection is not a
destination but a journey and every mother tries to give her best within her
limits. As we welcomed our little Krishna with joy certain things I consciously
followed by the guidance of elders and by reading scriptures I have listed
below. Having said that every child is unique and a uniform prescription may
not work. Mother is the best person to formulate a unique formula for her
child.
Ø
From day one or even while he was in my womb I started communicating my
thoughts to him. Right from day one I spoke to him about everything happening
around him, sought his permission for even the silliest thing. I believed the
child’s physical age may appear like a baby but at the level of consciousness
he is a fully grown being
Ø I gave utmost importance to
breastfeeding considering its numerous benefits. It not only helps in building
the immunity and health of the child but created a beautiful, unique and sacred
bond between the mother and child. With one breast a mother gives Love
and with other she gives Knowledge. During the initial 6 months when the
child was solely fed with mother’s milk, while feeding I used to constantly
chant the name of God so that along with physical nutrition spiritual nutrition
is also fed right from birth.
Ø
I consciously communicated to him only in Mother tongue, all the rhymes
and songs I sang were in mother tongue alone. So the child picked up the
language very early and was adept in his mother tongue very early. This helped
him learn any other language with ease later on.
Ø
Nutrition wise even after 6 month along with mother’s milk I did not
give any of the packed food available commercially. All powders and health
drink I prepared myself at home, even during preparation process I was
listening to sacred chants so that it is purified by Lord’s name even during
the preparation process and Bhagavath prasadham is fed to him.
Ø
I kept the vaccinations to the minimal. By God’s grace his pediatrician
was very sensible and did not believe in giving medicines. He stressed on
breast milk itself being a medicine for common ailments like cold, cough and
fever. His immunity has been very good and until today he listens to his body
and eats food. Any small disturbance in physical system he is capable of
correcting by food restrictions even at this tender age which even elders do
not know to express. He follows his body when it comes to food habits and not
his mind.
Ø
As a child of 4 months he was carried around for a walk by my father who
used to recite Shlokas, sometimes when he was chanting in his mind my son used
to hold his lips and move indicating to tell it aloud. The child had already
developed an affinity towards Shlokas and Namas by then.
Ø
When he was around one year I happened to attend a workshop on alternate
education and was deeply influenced by Montessori method. Even before he went
to school I started following some of the Montessori principles at home.
Ø
The child by nature is of very independent character, this further
strengthened his personality .Absolute clarity of thoughts. Will not accept
anything blindly he needs to be provided a logical answer to all questions he
asks.Sometimes when I do not know the answer I admit I am not aware I will
learn and get back to him.
Ø
Being a physically active child everyday he was taken to park and had
lot of physical activities. He was not exposed to gadgets as there were many
people around him. Children need people, gadgets can never replace human
beings. Children only crave for love and attention.
These are few points I followed, now
being in a nuclear family we try our best to provide a conducive atmosphere for
the child to bloom and exhibit his divinity.
As a mother in my opinion the primary
duty is to give a good citizen to the nation.I keep insisting this to my son by
means of stories from mythology, stories from Maha Bhaktha Vijayam , Periya
puranam and that of our numerous patriots who have fought for Independence of
this nation. I want these to be strongly built in his system and he must
believe that it is possible even today and they are not just history by it is
HIStory.
While feeding him food and going to bed
I repeat the stories of Mahatmas and the child now believes he can become one
like that. As a mother apart from helping the child to develop skills and
hobbies (which the child can develop otherwise also), imbibing our samskraas
are important. Our samskraas and culture can be picked up only while the child
is at home with his parents. It has to be deeply etched in him which he will
carry for the rest of his life. This will help him in taking the right
decisions and being humane in whatever career or path he chooses later on.This
wisdom will take the child in taken right decision and ability to tackle any
situation he faces later on. Faith in the Almighty will provide confidence to
the child wherever he is.
The child follows our actions more than
our words. Showing concern to every form of life, treating all life forms with
love, respect and dignity has to be part of our lives which is very much our
culture.
Right from applying rangoli in front of
our homes which is a food for ants, the food once cooked is first offered to
the crows birds, watering the plants, serving the guests. Showing concern to
all forms of life helps the child develop compassion and love.
Jija Bai was a very pious and intelligent woman with a great vision for independence. It completely fell upon Jija Bai’s shoulders to bring up her son Shivaji as a skillful warrior. She had him trained well in various types of Self defence and warfare under suitable teachers. She struggled hard to bring him up well as it was his duty to defend not only the fort but also to establish the Sanatana dharma again. She inspired Shivaji by narrating stories from the Ramayana and Mahabharatha. Inspired by this the Shivaji took the oath of Swarajya in 1645, when he was 17.
One day, Shivaji asked his mother how
she would like him to be.
Jija Bai did not hesitate.She said to
Shivaji “ my dearest son, I would like
you to be a true patriot first. Our Nation is our priority. I want you to chase
these foreign invaders away from our nation. You need to prove to this world
that you are a true Indian! Be a lion in valour,ability and nobility. Show
those in power the might of your sword and strength of the Indian Will.
Re-establish Swaraj in India. Stand by what is right and fight for it even if
it costs your life.
What wonderful, brave words from a
mother who did not even have the support of her husband in bringing up her
child!
What courage under adversity!
What faith!
What dedication and determination!
How can India fail when mothers like
Jija Bai mould children like Veer Shivaji?
Even today it is possible, these are not
just stories. Now it may not be Swarajya but it is our duty to prepare our
children to re-establish Sanatana Dharma for Rama Rajya to prevail on earth.
My Journey from a Child to Adolescence
I am the 2nd girl child born to my parents in the year 1979. My father (a Civil Engineer) and my Mother (a Homemaker) are from Southern part of India, but were settled in Maharashtra for work reasons. Maharashtra is considered to be “संतांची भूमी” “santanchi bhoomi” i.e. land rich in saints. My father was an extremely hard-working person, his work called for travel often by bike. My mother a devoted homemaker who used to excellently take care of home, her husband and kids. Apart from this, most of the time she spent time reading religious texts, doing vrata’s and fasting.
Ø Sense of
Togetherness - My parents were inherently
devotional. During our childhood they setup an evening routine for offering
prayers to almighty. This included chanting of mantras and small shlokas involving
myself, my elder sister and my parents. On any festive occasion, we used to be
filled with excitement as any activity - be it cleaning/decorating the house or
buying new clothes or performing Pooja, all activities were done together. New
clothes were first offered to God and then we used to wear.
Ø Discipline, Sense of Responsibility – My mother is extremely good at keeping the house clean with a sense of aesthetics with whatever resources that was made available to her. She was a strict mother when it came to cleanliness and keeping things organized at home. Her house routine was in tune with nature i.e. early to bed and early to rise, offering prayers to Lord Sun. This discipline which she herself followed got absorbed into us naturally and also instilled a sense of responsibility for our own things.
Ø Freedom to choose –
I was given the freedom to choose
what clothes to wear, which discipline I wish to study for graduation, friends
I spent time along and many more such choices that came along the lifetime
giving a sense of freedom. This helped me to emerge as an individual capable of
making decisions on own. During my 12th std, I initially had opted
for PCMB option where B stands for Biology, but in the middle of the academic
year I decided to switch from Biology to Sociology and studied on own. I could
take this big decision only because of the Freedom they gave to make my own
choices be it a trivial or crucial matter.
Ø No secrets, A bond
of Friendship – My parents never kept
secrets from each other. All family matters were discussed and also children’s
opinion was considered in final decision making. Their nature was such that I
could share anything with them just like I could share it with a friend. Even
when my friends visited home, they used to mingle with them in jovial manner and
involved themselves in healthy conversations by understanding their point of
view.
Ø No discrimination –
During our stay in a small town, my
mother took a decision that was path breaking decision for that time, motivated
my father to settle in a big city from the point of view of our education. Also
both of us were allowed to become engineering graduates based on our choices of
stream.
During these times they were discouraged and criticized by many people saying “why you wish to spend so much on a girl child” , “girl child anyways has to be married and sent to other house” and all those conventional remarks that come along when a girl child progresses. But my parents never made Gender based discrimination.
They always considered us as Swaroopa of “saraswati” , “lakshmi”. There is a very good saying in Marathi which says “Mulagi Shikali Pragati Jhaali” मुलगी शिकली, प्रगति झाली and my mother was a strong believer in that. What they believed about education is expressed well by the below shloka:
Vidyaa dadati vinayam,
Vinayaad yaati patrataam,
patratvat dhanamapnoti,
dhanat dharmam tatah sukham
विद्या ददाति विनयं,
विनयाद् याति पात्रताम्।
पात्रत्वात् धनमाप्नोति,
धनात् धर्मं ततः सुखम्॥
Ø Courage – My father usually used to be out of station for site work.
Because of this my mother completely overlooked the construction of house
single handedly. The confidence to do so was instilled by my father in her. She
used to deal with all banking related transactions. Most of the time she used
to be complemented by being asked “Are you working? “ That kind of courage and
confidence she carried while discharging off her duties. Same courage was
instilled in me by my mother. Be it bicycling to school that was 10kms away
through ring roads at the age of 11years, or be it riding 2-wheeler late nights
for attending tuitions or be it a managing the house alone in absence of parents
during testing situations.
Ø Honesty and Sincere
Efforts –Although my father’s life was very
hard in terms of his working conditions, travelling long distances on bike ,
exposed to rough weather conditions and uncertainty, he always dealt with all
this with honesty and a great smile on his face. As I performed well in
academics, many people advised for a change in school that would have caused
financial burden on my parents. But I decided to continue with the same school
and told my parents that I will bring good results with hard work and sincere
efforts irrespective of which school I am placed in.
Ø Be Humane – My mom has a great art of getting work done from people be it a domestic helper or any other worker. She always lent a helping hand to the domestic helper, was always concerned about her family’s wellness and her progress. My mom while she was monitoring the construction of her own house in coordination with a building contractor who was from Muslim Religion. The special recipe they make during their festive occasions i.e “seviya” was always welcomed into the house.
My father’s most of the work life was spent in scorching heat of sun, doing irrigation site surveys and dam construction. This involved a constant interaction with construction labours and reporting to higher authorities belonging to different caste. My father didn’t mind sitting along with all labours together and enjoying a meal.
Irrespective of whoever they dealt with, all of them were received with smiling faces always maintaining a human touch in these relationships irrespective of their position, caste, religion they belonged too.
Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam (वसुधैव कुटुम्बकम) is a Sanskrit word, a philosophy that inculcates an understanding that the whole world is one family. They truly believed it and always lived up to it by considering the welfare of all the people they were involved.
Ø Adaptability, Socialising – When children are exposed to different living conditions they can easily adapt and adjust to different conditions. Although belonging to southern part of India, but living in western part of India, we were exposed to different languages, food habits and living conditions, different ways of thinking, different customs. This helped me in adapting myself to different living conditions, adjusting with different people. Also it broadens the way of thinking. Right time for the proverb 😊 “Be a Roman while you are in Rome.”
It’s necessary to be focused with our life but at the same time, we should spend time with outside circle of people, not just family people. Else our life would be like a “Kupmanduk” कूपमंडूक which means our perception of life would be limited to the place, people we limit. This is similar to a frog living inside a well where frog’s view is limited to well only. My interactions involved interaction with friends who belonged to a different state and also interactions with extended family members who are from southern part of India. Hence I easily connect with different people not just limited to family circle.
Ø Security – From the childhood until I got married, I slept in the warmth
of my parents. This helps in feeling the child secured.
Ø Spiritual Values – As I grew from child to adult, seed of spirituality was
already sowed in me because of the values instilled in me. My mom was always in
search of a Spiritual Guru. This desire was so deep rooted that during my engineering
(1998) when I was 22 years old, my best friend introduced me to Satsangs from
where my spiritual journey began. She led me to satsangs and ultimately to a
Spiritual Guru “Swami Makarandnath” from Pune who blessed the whole of my
family with his “Anugraha”.
This proves the saying
“Yad bhavam Tad Bhavati”
"यद् भावं तद् भवति"
I was exposed to teachings of Bhagavad Gita and great writings
like Gyaaneshwari, Manache Shlok which are spiritual texts written by saint
Gyaneshwar and Samarth Ramdas and regular Sadhana Shibir. Post Anugraha I was
induced into the path of “सोऽहं“ Dhyaana Maarga i.e. Inward
Journey. Medidation became part of my life wherein I experienced moments of silence.
It brought in “Awareness of Self”. It brought in a change in my personality
i.e. I became more In-Dependant i.e Dependant on my Inside. I was able to deal
with my emotions in a much better way. Perception towards life broadened. Each
member in my family delved deep into meditation.
Post our graduation, we moved to Southern part of India. Here in year 2009, we met Shri Shivananda Bharati, a Spiritual Master. Such is the grace of a Guru, although we moved physically from Maharashtra, our Spiritual growth was not hampered. For that also a divine arrangement was already in place because of which we met Our next Spiritual Master Shri Shivananda Bharati.
When my father went through a pararytic attack, my mother faced the situation boldly. I stayed alone during this period as my mother had to move with my father until he recovered completely. I had great support from my friends too during this time. During my overseas stay in the year 2014, the news of my father’s death came in midnight. Although there was sorrow inside for not being able to enjoy company of my father anymore, I was happy to see that he left his body in the comfort of home. Me and my sister faced the situation with a smiling face having accepted his departure. We drew strength from inside because of the Spiritual values instilled in us by our Guru.
Spiritual values helps in the holistic development of a child which in turn helps in building a strong generation of children, which in turn would build a strong nation and eventually a strong and peaceful world. Hence it is best that it becomes the foundation stone on which education system should be based on. Had I been introduced to Spirituality at a much earlier age, I would have been a much Stronger Individual, a much better human being than what I am today.
My Journey from
Adolescence to Motherhood
This is about my journey as a Mother. Carrying forward the learnings from my Parents, I am continually trying to instill similar values in my Child who is 8 years now. Definitely my journey was a bit different as the new generation kids are very different us. Hence the ways to deal with them also differs. Let’s have a peek into my journey.
Post my marriage, during our visit to India in 2011, I met Guru
Shivananda Bharati who blessed me with the photo of “Devi Lopamudra” to meditate on, with a Mantra and a Mudra.
Ø Preparation for
arrival of baby
Very soon I conceived and I decided to quit my IT job (10 years)
to embark into the journey of motherhood and enjoy it to the fullest extent. I
was very clear about my priorities. A
mother’s role is not just limited to bring in a new life but much bigger than
that. Her role is to build personality of the child and to instill moral,
ethical and spiritual values. In every house, a Healthy child carrying Great
values will build a Great future of a nation.
Under the guidance of a Divine Lady named “Mayura” , I took online classes on Skype for yoga from her and got into Maternity Yoga Routine.
Also perfomed “Agni Hotra” homa under her Guidance.
I relied on Ayurveda medicines for a good health during
pregnancy. To mention here, I did not take “Folic Drops” at all, the usually
recommended medicine post conceiving.
Me and my husband ourselves arranged for the “Seemantha” (Baby Shower) function that’s usually done for celebration of pregnancy and advance welcoming of the baby. We celebrated this occasion in the presence of my parents and our friends overseas. We selected the decoration items, decorated the place of celebration by ourselves, made a return gift card for all friends and lot more preparations. We gave personal touch to each and every aspect of this function.
Me and my husband attended the prenatal course, wherein the aim was to understand the importance of breastfeeding and preparing for delivery. During the sessions there were methods taught to connect with the child, when in womb.
Ø Just Born On 21st July 2012, I delivered a baby boy. As soon as the baby was delivered, the first person who touched the baby was his father. And the baby was immediately left on my stomach who instinctively crawled upto my chest and latched successfully for his first feed. This is called as Breast Crawl where the baby inherently knows that it has to feed on mother’s chest. My midwife really supported me well, who insisted on breastfeeding from the time the child is born, although there were other departments in the hospital who were trying to delineate to switch to formula feeding due to initial breastfeeding issues.
Breast crawl is a very beautiful experience which every mother and child should have. This helps the child in expertising its inbuilt skill to breastfeed and in experiencing a skin to skin contact with mother. This establishes a long-lasting connection with the mother.
Ø New born to 3
years: During this period, the mother of a
newly born baby needs complete support from the family and society to meet the
needs of new born. All the birth related
practices that are laid down as per Indian Traditions were followed. These are focused
towards good health of both mother and the child.
Some of the choices that I consciously made
1.
Breastfeeding – I consciously
choose to breastfeed my child till 1 year and beyond till 3 years. I never used
bottle for feeding. In my opinion, helping child develop strong immunity levels
through breastfeeding is one of the best gifts a mother can give to a child which
will last with the child throughout his life.
2. Co-Sleeping - Although living overseas, I denied letting my child sleep in other room which is a common tradition in western culture. My son slept along with us and as a mother was always conscious of even the slightest movement by the child. This is an instinctive nature of mother. Post 6 months, my child’s sleep routine was automatically tuned to nature i.e. early to bed i.e. as soon as it’s dark and early to rise i.e. as soon as light falls on his face.
3.
Reusable Cloth Diapers - An ecofriendly choice that I made was to avoid use of
disposable diapers and instead used reusable and washable cloth nappies. This
was comfortable to use, comfortable for the child as the skin was in touch with
cloth, could be washed in washing machine and didn’t cause any damage to mother
earth. Because of this choice, it was not difficult to toilet train the child.
In fact, the child himself led us to toilet training by making us run around to
put cloth nappy denying to wear it anymoreJ.
Ø 3 years and beyond: As the child grew into an extremely active child, I started seeing behavioral issues in the form of throwing tantrums. For quite some time, I seeked help outside, including buying Self Help Books that gives tips on dealing with child behavior. It did help to certain extent but as time went on realized that no book can give any solution for child behavior. It’s like trying to fit every child in a same box whereas every child is unique and hence the solutions to the child behavior lies with mother herself. Further choices that I made through what occurred to me right without referring to any books but to the book of heart within.
1.
Slipping into Sleep – For this I choose
Singing Lullabies over telling Stories. It was very difficult to put my child
to sleep through telling stories as this used to awaken him and he engaged more
in conversation. Hence, I resorted to singing lullabies to put him to sleep.
2.
Eating Food – I choose Activity
Over Media during Feeding Child. I never tried to feed the child with the help
of media. My child has always been a physically active child hence making him
sit and eat was quite a challenging task. However instead of resorting to usage
of phone/tv to feed a child, I used different activities like giving him spoons
or coloring activity or craft activity to keep him engaged so as to make him
physically sit in one place. Also the effects of media on my child could be
seen very easily. Being a hyperactive kid, post media watching he tends to feel
sleepy and then starts acting crazy. Looking at the animal cartoon program like
dinosaur, he used to imitate them so much that he will also get into the
character of something that he watched. He used to jump, behave and talk like
animals. This was a message to me to stop showing him animal related characters
and switch to human related character programs. Also media watching disturbed
his sleep.
3.
Develop Habits that helps child connect to Mother Earth, Nature– I cultivated in him the practice of sitting on floor and
eating food, this way he will be connected to Mother Earth. When my child was
of 3.5years of age, we moved to India for good. Since I was in India now, had
the advantage of choosing Indian Toilet System Over Western Toilet System. I
got my child accustomed to Indian Toilet by explaining to him that it would help
in maintaining the fluidity of joint liquid, thus making his knees to bend.
While getting house construction done, I ensured that Indian commode is
installed in his toilet.
I encouraged him to play on the
floor and getting hands dirty using clay/mud. As it is said playing with
clay/mud helps in developing great movement in fingers which are used in future
for writing. I appreciated physical activities like climbing on a tree.
We made him aware of the ill
effects of throwing garbage, on the nature and on animals. So he very clearly
knows now how wet garbage can be converted into compost that’s used for growing
organic vegetables at home.
4.
Encouraging the child to tell truth – I encourage the child to tell the truth by following that
rule by myself. For e.g. If the child starts crying when a visitor leaves, I
let him cry but also at the same time help him in understanding the situation
as to why they need to leave. I never try to cover up with a lie in such
situations that will make the child stop crying but hiding the truth.
5.
Allowing him to experience the result of his own choices – My child is a strong headed child and he will do what he
wishes to do even after telling the consequences. Sometimes as parents we need
to allow them to experience the result/consequences of their own choices as our
advice will not teach them as much as their own experience. This is one of the
great learnings that I had as part of my motherhood journey. Being a mother, we
tend to become too much protective but this can sometimes hinder their
development.
6. Sense of Responsibility – Induced a sense of responsibility into child in terms to taking care of his things and lending a helping hand in household chores. For e.g. while the child was of 3 years, I told him that he should start taking bath by himself. The child may not implement things perfectly as adults do, but we need to accept those imperfections for the growth of child.
7. Schooling – When I had to find a new school for my child from kindergarten to 1st standard, there is a practice in most traditional schools to take written test. My child could not clear any of those tests in 2 to 3 schools as his writing capabilities were not great as per the set traditional benchmark. But he has great drawing abilities. My child may not be able to write or know the spelling of “Lion” but he can draw a great picture of a Lion J . The idea of testing a child by schools didn’t make sense to me. Schools should be more focused on imparting education, also not just academic education but value-based education. When this happened, it could have led a deep impression on the child’s mind which I didn’t allow to happen. I didn’t see my child through the same telescopic lens which the schools were seeing. I never scolded the child post those tests. Instead I told myself that the school is not lucky to have my child who is unique in his own way.
I looked for better schooling options where a child is not judged for his writing/mathematical abilities. I found a school where they only had a initial interaction with the child just to know him. Also at the same time they could decide on what kind of plan they need to have for the child to progress further in those areas. Finally found a place for the child in a Montessori based education institute where children learn through material, they plan for their own activities throughout the day, no blackboard-based classroom teaching, and children don’t sit on table chair, they sit comfortably on floor with floor mats. I am not promoting any method of education system here but only message is that Children need physical movement and any education system should not restrict this physical movement of the child.
8. Child leads Parent, Learning through observation – Having interest in music and also felt that he had a good voice, I took my child to join vocal music class. It’s a different thing that my child dropped out later from the music class but I continued and I am ever grateful to my child for leading me to a great music teacher for my unfulfilled desire of learning music. When my child dropped, I was little unhappy. But later over the years during my learning period of music, I observed that my child has picked it up just by hearing. He’s not a kind of person who will learn when you teach him. He learns more through observation.
9. Sincere Efforts with Parental Involvement bring result – Post my child’s annual day program where we saw a small child playing drums, all 3 of us felt that he can learn some musical instrument. My son, who was 7 years by now, choose to learn flute after attending a few demo classes for Flute, Mridangam and Violin. Flute requires lot of effort during the initial period until the musical note comes by blowing. I could see frustration rising in my child and once he said “Mom, I didn’t think that learning flute would be so tough. So I don’t want to play flute now”. This thing put me into worry as we had already got the child admitted to music institute. But more than that what worried me was that this experience may leave an impression on the child
·
that he can just
leave things in between when some effort needs to be put for learning any art.
· that he is not capable of making his own choices.
10. Nature of Child – My child is a 8 years now and a very active child. He has great drawing abilities. He has the art of model making. He’s not so much inclined towards reading/writing. He gets easily distracted and loses his focus. He’s a very naughty child. Majority of the times he doesn’t listen to us J which means he has his own mind. His behavior is different with outsiders and his teachers. He has his own pace of doing things. The concept of time he cannot get still and he thinks world runs based on his timings. He gets angry and teased very easily and he needs our help to deal with this. He tends to dominate and lead people most of the time including adults, is that a quality of an upcoming leader? If we scold him today, he forgets about it the next moment and behaves as if nothing happened. He makes lot of promises which he doesn’t fulfill.
He has his own limitations, short comings. He has his own strengths, creativity and an imaginary world. He’s a unique child in his own way. At this moment it feels like “Am I really able to instill any values in him” “Have I got the right methods to instill values in my child” “Am I going wrong somewhere”? All these questions do run through my mind in the journey of motherhood. I have my own limitations. Motherhood teaches lot of things and most importantly being patient. There is a learning curve for every mother and this will continue to grow as my child grows through teens and then to adolescence wherein his personality would evolve.
But I love and accept my child the way he is.
It’s my duty to continue instilling values in him as a mother although it’s does not seem to be reflecting in him instantly. But that should not discourage me. One day my efforts will show results as the child grows, this I truly believe in. I often remind myself with this quote by Rumi
I make “Peace Within Myself” with these words
and end the write-up with a shloka on Mother
Bringing out the child in me
I was born
in the year 1975, on the first day of Navaratri to lovable parents to take care
of me. My mother being the devotee of Devi, always used to worship her. When I
was born, my grandfather told her that she has given birth to a Devi herself,
as my Mother always used to think about her. So, this is how my family welcomed
me. I was born in a time where the birth of a girl child was looked upon as a
burden, but I was blessed as my parents embraced me with all the love and
compassion.
My parents
sowed the seed of love, devotion, the attitude of gratitude towards all living
forms, humanity i.e. seeing all as one, no differentiation in the name of
caste, creed, religion, or status. All these qualities they did not teach us,
but put in action which we saw, observed, and absorbed. That is how a child
learns. So, parents need to be aware of their deeds as the child follows the
footsteps of parents. For a child, the parent is the first Guru. So before
imparting anything in a child, a parent needs to follow that, then only it
happens with the child by mere observations. Simple living high thinking and to
be contented with what life gives us, were the teachings I got it naturally
from my father as he was living it.
After four
years, blessed with a younger sister who meant the world to me and my life
moved around her only. That is what my mother used to tell. We enjoyed being
together though we are completely different from each other, the seeds of love
sowed by our parents always kept us together in all situations and time.
So, to be
united always keeps us stronger to face any challenges in life.
As we grew
older, we got exposed to the outside world called society where you are
constantly being judged based on several aspects like your talent,
intelligence, beauty, and so on. Everyone around you has some or the other
opinion about you based on their perceptions. A world of competition and race.
So, looking into all this started blending with this society designed structure
which took me away from my very Self. Though never liked anything about this
but to be a part of this society did try to blend with its design.
Frankly
speaking, was never been able to be a part of all that though tried. My sister
was very good at studies and me an average student. Creativity interested me so
was good in art. Once some guests visited our place. They commented on me not
being greater in studies as my sister. Before they could even end the
conversation, my sister spontaneously answered them saying we are great in our
respective fields. If I am good at studies, my sister is good at her art. A
lovely sister to have isn’t it. The one who stands by you always.
The
society also plays a very wide role in the upbringing of a child. We need a
society that upholds a child in everyone.
During my
degree met my first Guru who directed me to the inward journey. When I met him
for initiation he said
“A girl like you is needed for this work.”
I do not
know why he expressed that. I started with my meditation for journey inwards as
guided by him. Just a beginner in the journey towards Self. After my degree got
married. A new phase of life started. New challenges came in. Not knowing how
to deal with it. Though got all the best of samskaras from my parents and all
the knowledge of the outside world with all good education but none of this
helped me to deal with these new situations of life. Felt like a failure, lost
all my confidence. As everything around, me was making me feel as if I am
lacking in dealing with the situations. But the small spark of divinity which
was embedded by my Guru natha kept me going and helped me to move on with my
life.
Somewhere
I have realized that something is lacking in me. What is that I did not know.
Until I met my Guru Mauli, yes, I would like to call him that because that is
how as a mother gently, he blended me to my very Self. It made me realize I am
a special child of God and have come here to celebrate life and live life to
the fullest. He taught me to Simply be, as you are already THAT.
You only
need to develop an awareness of the SELF. Simple is his teachings and easy to
inculcate. Like a sculptor, he sculpted all that was not me. Helped me to
realize how beautiful and precious is life and all life forms. He just made me
go closer to my Self by initiating me with simple meditation techniques and
valuable lessons of life and its relations, which even a child can follow.
Thus, making me independent, the one who is dependent within.
Believe
me, friends, when you are with the SELF all problems of life seem small
situations to deal with. With the knowledge of Self, all other knowledge will
be at your very reach. All the samskaras and knowledge which I acquired from my
parents and the world outside got meaning only after I start going closer to my
Self. I would love to share one
experience on this. My father taught me a small prayer when you get up in the
morning keep your palms together and say this prayer. Most of us know this.
Regularly I used to do that and when I started going closer to my SELF, I saw
the whole of Ksheera Sagara in my palm which made my belief more
stronger that there exist something more in me than what I perceive through the
mere senses.
So, the
very first thing in the life of a child's upbringing is to let it be like a
child because a child is the very Self. So, do not let the child in you fade
away as God is or Self is even simpler than a child. Our great history like
Mahabharata and Ramayana depicts the same. Mahabharata tells us though having
the best of all skills and knowledge if
you are not one with the Self everything turns into a mere dust. Whereas
Ramayana shows even the smallest act like squirrel did when done with Self in
charge it becomes a legend. Today also, when we see a Squirrel or monkey, we
think about Ramanjaneya.
As a
parent, I am trying to inculcate the same in my son who is in his teenage now.
I tell him only one thing, to have the
knowledge of Self and all other knowledge will come to you as and when
required. Since the age of seven, he was also initiated in the journey towards
Self.
Accordingly,
and consistently he is doing his meditation as guided by Guru. With this, by the time he grows up, he will
be quite capable to deal with any challenges and situations as the Self will be
in charge of him. He will know what skills to acquire and how to apply for the
purpose he has come here for.
Nature is an
incredibly good teacher; a lot of valuable lessons can be acquired from her.
So, allow
the child to spend more time with nature through different modes and mediums as
per child's interest. Slowly they will develop the art of communicating with
nature. Instil that belief that Nature itself is God, I think it will be an
easier process. When we can show a stone idol and tell the child that it is God
and the child believes that, then it will not be a big deal to show the God
which really exists in the form of Nature. It's the belief that makes that idol
God or anything around as God. So, we must develop a make-believe attitude in
the child.
I used to
tell my son God is everywhere. He believed what I said. One day when we went to
buy some vegetables after picking him from school. Generally, due to the
heavyweight of schoolbag, I used to keep it in the front leg space. Once I
parked the vehicle, I asked him to pick the bag for which he said “Amma God is there
Na. He will take care of it “. Such is a make-believe attitude of the child.
We are all
the sparks of divinity, so all divine qualities are surely in us. Like a drop
of water from the ocean will have all the qualities and properties of the water
in the ocean, the same is with the Self. So by instilling the knowledge of self
from childhood only, drop by drop through
inspirational and value based stories,
mantras, taking them close to nature, as nature is the very reflection
of Self, reciting God's names, and teaching them the techniques of
visualization. Thus gradually taking
them to the meditation stage.
In a non-meditator only 5% of his cell is active but when God has given us trillion of cells why don't we help our children to activate all those cells so that they can be a creator of their own life as well as can participate in this creation of God by giving their best to the society by just responding to the abilities given. What is the use of being born as human being and not aware of the Self and its magnanimity without which we will not be able to explore this beautiful creation and its uniqueness to the fullest? All this is possible by instilling the knowledge of the Self in every child because a child has the highest capacity to absorb, learn and apply as their mind is empty and their heart is pure. Then they will able to live their life to the fullest not just exist. That is what we have come here for. To enjoy this creation of God.
Isn't
it? Think over it, dear friends.
Dear friends here, every mother has expressed every smallest aspect of child like the way we go all the way to see in temples. Where purohit in temple bathes, dresses and decorates the idol with ornaments, with all love and offers Naivedya to him with complete surrender. We see all this activity with folded hands and utmost devotion. The Same is happening in every house where every lady is Yashoda and every child is Krishna or Bala Tripura. So should they also not be taken care with all love and devotion.
In temples, the idol is in the Garbha gudi the most energised and a place of sanctity. That is how the lady of the house to be placed. Because she is the energy giving source in every house. That's why in ancient days ladies used to be occupied not employed. Because her presence in home makes it a temple. So for every lady it is important to be in her Garbha gudi because from there only she can take care not only of her temple but the universal temple too.
email : paanchjanya.krishna@gmail.com
for any further information contact
Shivananda Bharati
Mob : + 91 8050559904
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